


Alive

by PinkExplosions



Category: Legion of Super Heroes - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt but no comfort, inner termoil, lots of emotions and confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-13 22:56:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkExplosions/pseuds/PinkExplosions
Summary: Being alive should be easy. You eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, and keep your body and brain active. Unfortunately, it's not as easy and Querl once thought.





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Newly organic Brainy having trouble adjusting to his emotions and how they effect him.
> 
> This is my first fic in 4+ years and I only ready through it once. It was also written on my phone in notes. Any constructive tips or criticisms are welcome! May eventually continue on this.

Querl groans as he slips from the loose grip of sleep. His arm feels too heavy as he lifts it to rub his eyes. He slowly rolls himself up to sit on the edge of the bed and he's honestly not even sure when he got into bed or how long he'd been asleep. It's probably the first time he's slept in nearly a week and it seems to have made the exhaustion sink deeper into his bones. 

A dull pain and rumbling from his stomach tells him that his body needs food. He sighs and drags his feet over to his kitchen. If you can call a small fridge under a work bench covered in tools and parts a kitchen, that is. When he opens the refrigerator it's nearly empty and Querl realizes he doesn't remember the last time he ate. He feels suddenly very annoyed and aggressively slams the door shut and instead heads to the bathroom.

Water was an interesting sensation to get used to. He almost hated it at first, but without it the build up of oil and dirt just irritates his skin. So he turns the faucet and splashes still cold water on his face a few times. It stings in an odd way but the shock it sends into his skin wakes him back up, for the most part.

He knows that shocking himself awake when his body needs rest is not at all a good idea, but sleeping is a strange sensation that he's not sure if he likes. It's not the same as those times he's gone offline when he was still a robot. That was easy. There were almost no side effects or strange sensations. It didn't feel like anything to be turned off. Sleep feels like a mattress thats too hard and pillows that are too soft and sheets that lay loose and limp against his body but still rub way too rough against his skin. His body getting heavier and harder to move. And he seems to always feel sore when the whole mess is over.

Sometimes he just can't stop his body from caving into the exhaustion even though he knows he should just sleep before it starts to really effect his mind. His body needs so much and he knew that when he first turned but... He thought it would be simple. 

Being alive is unbearable.

Querl feels a heat in his face and when he looks up into the mirror he knows that the water in his eyes isn't from the sink.

He breaks down then. Seeing his red puffy eyes and flushed face makes the bundle of emotions in his stomach drag hard up into his throat. He feels like he's choking and hes almost afraid, even though his brain is telling him that feeling things like this is normal and safe when you're organic. He knows he's not actually choking but he's so overwhelmed by the emotions inside of him. They twist and turn and boil over and he's drowning in so many different feelings that he can barely identify. 

Sometimes he wonders if physically drowning would be easier.


End file.
